Professor Umana, Law and Society 150 Getting Over the Gender Walls Men and women come from different worlds. Let's face it, they simply can not communicate. Take the following story for example: Tom and Mary were going to a party. Tom was driving and after about twenty minutes and going around the same block many times, it was clear to Mary that Tom was lost. She suggested that he call for help. Tom became silent. They eventually arrived at the party, but the tension form the moment lasted the entire evening. Mary had no idea why Tom was so upset. Mary, on one hand thought that she was offering Tom help. Tom, on the other hand "heard" that he was incompetent and couldn't get them there, (Gray, 20).In most instances, men and women interpret each other wrongly as well as attempt to make amends in the same mistaken manner. Communication has become the source of our problems. Men expect women to think and react the way men do. Women expect men to feel and communicate the way that women do. Both are mistaken. If we could understand each other better, many conflicts could be prevented. But more importantly, if we could only understand each other better, when conflicts do arise, we could overcome them a lot quicker and easier. Men and women have different values. Men and women cope with stress differently, and are motivated differently. Men and women speak different languages and commonly misunderstand each other. Finally men and women keep score differently and have different needs for support. Painful arguments, regardless can be avoided. Understanding these differences are crucial in day to day situations, but they become even more crucial when dealing in situations when conflicts must be resolved. "If we recognize and understand the differences between us, we can take them into account, adjust to, and learn from each other's styles," (Tannen, 17). An example of this is in mediation; divorce mediation in particular. By ...
