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stretching towards self

Stretching towards selfPsychosynthesis Referring to my last supervision paper for December I note my suggestion that I might access some insight concerning emerging purpose through attention to my body. Although at the time of writing that paper my intention was to look after my body, what has happened since is just the opposite. I began the process by going on a course of herbal pills to detox, a course which I studiously ignored. In the midst of finding ways not to adhere to my agenda I attended the January seminar which concentrated on body work. My prevalent experience of this was the uncovering of what I would describe as a profound sense of loneliness, despite the fact that I had dulled down my body through lack of attention.Subsequent to the last seminar I find myself more determined than ever to stay away from the exploration of that lonely experience. Upon reflection the excitement which I feel in my body when I consider the loneliness is like the immediate evacuation of air from the pit of my stomach coupled with a frozen breath. Yet if I am to begin to explore my attitude to my body as a first step to uncovering purpose this seems to be where I must begin. My mind feels panic at these times and my head seeks action as distraction. I say to myself that this is not all there is stand still and then I run like a frightened rabbit. When I reflect again I feel my breath reaching down into me as I seek respite and my mind wonders what can I see of emerging purpose. Before I pause again I say to myself ‘your surrounded by wonderful people who care for you, so how are you lonely’. This time the cold in my groin screams like a drop of acid on the scar of an old injury. My mind screams out your lonely for yourself and before I pause I say to myself that there must be another me if that is the case. My breath is moving just as deeply now but without the sense of forcing it, I feel warm inside and my mind says whatever it...

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