Cast : Jane, Bill, Gilda, Don Pardo, Don Novello *Don: and now Weekend Update -- with the Weekend Update News Team, brought to you by Earth quaker Oats, the hot cereal that destroyed San Francisco. Here are anchor persons Jane Curtain and Bill Murray.*Jane: Good evening, Im Jane Curtain. Our top story tonight...For the second year in a row, P.L.O. Leader Yasser Arafat has been awarded first prize in the annual International Ringo Starr Look-Alike Contest. He turned down the prize, which was a weekend in Tel-Aviv.U.N. observers at the Sino-Vietnam border have warned Chinese troops that the hurling of coke bottles and John Denver records on the battlefield is a direct violation of the rules of the Geneva Convention.This coming Monday morning, a total eclipse of the sun will arc its way across out hemisphere, the last such eclipse in this century. Observers are reminded that staring into the partially eclipsed sun can cause blindness, warts, exhaustion, and hair growing in your palms. Weekend update suggests that you do not look at an eclipse until you are married.On the eve of the opening of the Winter Olympic Games at Lake Placid, problems have arisen for ABC television crewmen who are setting up the broadcast the event. In addition to the freezing temperatures and high winds, officials claim that miles of TV cable have been destroyed by what looks like the work of a mischievous raccoon or beaver. When reached for a comment-- the Beaver said, gee mom, Im sorry, I wont do it again, honest.*Bill: Well, it was some week for the news. This weeks top stories:Leftists Challenged Khomeini in Iran .Double Digit Inflation Here at Home.Foreign Aid to Afghanistan Cutand, the weather*Don: The weather has really been something. Its been cold all over. When I left Rome yesterday, it was two. The fountains were frozen and everything.And that's Celsius. Its all the way down to Celsius. In Naples it was only up to ten, and down in Reggio Calabria, ho...
