MYTHS ABOUT PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE: The high divorce rate in the United Sates and the resulting concern with marrying the right person makes selecting someone to marry an especially important contemporary issue. You may struggle with finding the right person to marry, feeling competent as a future spouse, or feeling confident that a relationship will work. This is partly due to the magnitude of the decision, the increasingly high expectations we have of marriage (for example, “My spouse should simultaneously be my lover, my best friend, and my counselor”), and the fact that if you do not choose carefully, the marriage could end in divorce. MYTHS: WHAT ARE THEY? A significant cause of your struggle with the decision may be your belief in myths about selecting a mate and preparing for marriage. Myths are widely held beliefs that are not true. That is, there is no scientific evidence to support them, yet many people believe them. To assess your belief in the myths about preparing for marriage, rate how much you agree or disagree with each of the statements in Exhibit 1.1. For each of the myths you agreed with, think of your reasoning in support of the myth. For example, who taught you this myth? What evidence do you have that this myth is true? False? Your belief-in-myths score is high if you agreed or strongly agreed with five or more of the myths. If you agreed or strongly agreed with three or four myths, your score is moderate. Agreeing with two or fewer is a low myth score. The more myths you marked “Uncertain” to “Strongly Disagree,” the better your understanding of the true nature of selecting someone to marry and preparing for marriage. Myths such as these are dangerous because they may lead you to be too critical or not critical enough-of yourself, your partner, your relationship, or your decision about marriage. They may also lead you to seek the wrong kind of per...
